In days of yore, legends told of a Great Evil Pumpkin that sapped the very life from the ground upon which it grew, leaving none for the world's plants and trees. The pumpkin swelled to epic proportions while the rest of nature's creations withered and died.
With the fading of the flora, it was only a matter of time until the animals and people followed, and soon the whole of life on Earth threatened to crumble under the wrath of the Great Evil Pumpkin.
The same legends spoke of a young warrior who would appear and free his people from the oppression of the Great Evil Pumpkin and retrieve its life-giving seeds, restoring balance to nature and hope to the tortured world.
On Oct. 24, the warrior appeared. As foretold, he wasted no time locating the pumpkin and waging battle upon it, undaunted by its man-sized proportions or thick, nigh-impenetrable hide. Like a bolt screaming through the sky, he tore into the beast with his bare hands. To the surprise of the frightened onlookers -- as much as to the Great Evil Pumpkin itself -- its calloused shell ripped apart beneath the might of the warrior.
The Great Evil Pumpkin released an earth-rending shriek as the warrior delved into its depths, undeterred by the swirling murk that licked and pulled at his hands, pulling him ever closer to its core -- and his potential demise.
The warrior gripped with all his might and tore backward, freeing his arm and tearing free a chunk of tendril-ridden ooze with it. But alas, there were more seeds to be found.
So the young warrior steeled himself and trudged back into the mire.
All of creation held its collective breath during the ensuing struggle, for nothing less than the future of life itself hung in the balance. Lightning flashed, thunder crashed, and, for a brief moment, there were no perceptible signs of movement on the field.
Then, slowly, deliberately, something stirred. The tip of the sun's pale ring crept above the horizon, casting a pale light over the grisly scene.
There, in the pallid light of a morning that was one more than most dared hope for, the young warrior stood -- or rather, knelt -- with head bowed in reverence to the hard-won spoils he now studied as they trickled between his weary fingers.
And that is the story of how Garret saved the world and became the Pumpkin King.
Later that night, the young warrior was slightly congested, and woke his parents no fewer than three times in the night.
